it just suddenly all came clear to me

I shouldnt be feeling this way, or rather why am I feeling this way.
My heart raced as my eyes scanned through it.
The stinging pain in my stomach hurt even more.
I wish I could disappear, for a while or forever would be good.
I cant figure out what I need or whats good for me now. us even?
I only know I need to find back the times&its going to take a while.
Its going to hurt.
It will be better if Joanne's here. I must find her.
After all these tonight,nobody's going to have much sleep.